The Politics of Disability

It came up recently on a forum I frequent the question of comparison with our Special Needs kids. Did we feel like we were out on a limb where no one could possibly compare or relate to our situation, or did we feel we were more or less in the same boat. I had to say I felt we were more or less in the same boat, even though some of the children could do a lot more than my child can, there were also those that can do a lot less. It still doesn't dampen the feeling of sheer frustration when you just want them to do one thing. A lot of the other children with ASD can do it, some more 'severe' than my son, but I also know logically, I'm not asking him to do one thing, as to be able to do it, he has to do several others first. It's like trying to recite the alphabet starting from L.

One thing that has really come to my attention since knowing I was a mum of a SN child is the R word. As a teenager and even in my 20's I threw it around like it meant nothing. Never giving it a second thought. Now being around SN kids, some with Intellectual Disabilities some without, I can really understand the impact of the word. Especially when it's being thrown around without a second thought or empathy. I always thought those who objected to the R word being thrown around were being a little precious, but now I 'get it'. But maybe now I know the other side of the coin, have I become precious? At this point it has neither been confirmed or denied whether my son has an ID or not, but I have seen enough, that I can understand the profound effect that thoughtless comments have.

So do the unaware need to make a better effort at understanding, or at least displaying some thoughtfulness towards those dealing with Special Needs? Or do the aware need to grow a thicker skin and realise those who don't know, will never understand.