Into the Melting Pot

It's an interesting new world being a mum to a special needs child. You see a whole new world you never saw before, meet people you would have never met, and hear words and terms you've never heard before. Educating yourself on all your childs needs, and the new fancy words, they could run a whole new TAFE course on it all. Seeing through the mud I think I'd call it.

One of the new terms I've come to understand as a mum to a child with Autism is 'Meltdown'.

Now the word Meltdown is hardly exclusive to the Autism world. Nuclear reactors melt down, you melt down chocolate for a recipe but I never really understood the term 'meltdown' in relation to Autism Spectrum Disorder kids until I knew my son. Now at first, I didn't understand what it was, because he was having meltdowns long before his diagnosis. I knew he wasn't having a tantrum, tantrums are easily recognisable, but this experience was a whole new ball game. I think I've figured out why professionals use the term meltdown to describe this behaviour. When my child has a melt down you can actually see all that is my son, melt away and all that is left is a hollow shell, vaguely resembling my son. He looks like my son, except if you look at his eyes, his eyes are vacant, he is not taking any information in, nothing is rational, all that's left is his fight instinct, to fight his way out of this situation. The meltdown is as frightening for us as parents as it is for him to be experiencing it. There's no bargaining, it's a black or white "I can not handle this situation'. There are repercussions for the meltdown also, there maybe the initial mess from the flailing limbs, fingers crossed no injuries to your child, yourself, or anyone else in the firing line, but some linger beyond the event. Sometimes the emptiness in his eyes can fade in and out for days. Communication bounces off his ears. Even simple instructions need to be repeated, and simplified even further.

So I do find it strange almost funny when I hear mums of Neurotypical children using the word meltdown to describe their childs tantrum. I borrow the term Neurotypical from medical professionals, I'm not intending to bamboozle anybody, it's their way of officially labelling 'normal'. Now why do I laugh? Not that I think it's funny that their child is chucking a hissy fit over mummy saying no to the chocolate bar but the fact they think that it rates on the same scale as an actual meltdown. I'm not trying to be smug or exclusive about words and terms and claim that as parents to ASD kids we have ownership over words and terms. If ASD kids can have tantrums, why can't NT kids have meltdowns? Why? Because the fundamental reasons for the meltdown aren't there in an NT child. They don't suffer from sensory overload, unless they have an Sensory Processing Disorder outside of having an ASD. Sensory overload to such a point that they can not cope, they can not function, they just shut down. Melt down.